Friday, February 25, 2011

Baby Bump!

Haha! Got your attention, didn't I?

No, but seriously, I had this conversation with one of my patients yesterday:

him: You're pregnant?
me: Nope, it's just a food baby.
him: Oh, it's left over from your first baby?

...........COULD THIS GET ANY WORSE?...........

me: NO! It's just a food baby!
him: So, it's your 3rd baby?
me: wow, ok. no, it's just food. my stomach's full, ok?
him: ah, a food baby. Yeah, I have one of those too.

Aren't you supposed to not say anything like this to any woman ever unless you actually see a baby falling from her vajayjay?

Has this ever happened to you? How do you respond?

BTW, mom and dad, I am not in any way, shape or form pregnant.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


I wasn't going to post anything tonight because I had a crappy day at work and I'm tired.

But then I started thinking, wouldn't it be fun to have a dinner party?

And serve Italian food.

And lots of red wine.

And make ALL of the guests wear a moustache....women included.

Maybe like this...

Or this...

Or even this...

But maybe this isn't such a good idea in case I end up looking like this...

Minus the cigarette of course- because smoking is just plain gross.

Monday, February 21, 2011

The Three B's of Racing

The husband and I completed a 15K this past weekend in the Tulsa area. While we had fun and it was good exercise, I didn't come away with that "oh my gosh, that was fun" feeling that I normally have after an organized event. So, since race fees can add up quickly, I started thinking about what makes a good race for me and came up with the 3 B's. Before signing up for another race, I will look for the following:

1. BLING! I was a little disappointed when I finished 9.3 (actually 9.5 but who's counting?) miles on Sunday and no one was standing at the finish line to put some bling over my head. I know it was only a 15K, but us runners really like our much so that we sometimes choose our races based on the coolest medals. And it doesn't even have to be a medal per se, a Tiffany's necklace will suffice (yes, there is really a race that gives out Tiffany jewelry)!

2. BENEFICIARY! Now I know that not all races can afford to provide medals. For instance, one of my favorite races this year was the local Humane Society 5k- we got a t-shirt but no bling. Would I do it again? Absolutely, but only because I truly believe in the beneficiary of the race and would like to see the race bring in all the money it possibly can. So, what I am saying is that if the race benefits an organization I believe in, I will spend the money to support it. Oh, and this race was also one of my favorites because I got 2nd place in my age group, and I am pretty sure that this turtle will never see that happen again!

3. BEHIND! Like I just said, I am SSSSLLLLLLLOOOOOWWWWW. I run between a 9:30 and 11:30 minute mile and I am ok with that. I will never be fast, and that's ok, but I don't want to be last! So, before registering for a race, I have to make sure that there are enough participants that I won't be last. 'Nuff said.

So, what makes for a good event for you? What was your favorite race? And, what race has the best bling?

If you will remember, I said I am trying vegetarianism for 1 month because it is something I have always wanted to do. I know it is not for everyone, and I AM NOT trying to push my views on anyone. I am doing this for myself. However, since the picture above sums up my feelings and motivation, I had to share.

I have officially been a veggie for one full week now, and I am happy with my decision thus far. I have found myself eating things I would normally not eat just for nutrition's sake. For instance, I went to the mall food court for lunch today, and instead of ordering my usual chick-fil-a chicken sandwich, large fries and coke zero, I went to the cajun stand next door and ordered a veggie platter with red beans, green beans, rice and mac-n-cheese. Also, instead of my usual chocolate ice cream breakfast, I had a Luna Bar. So, even though I can't tell a difference on the scale yet, I know I am making better food choices because I am forced to think about what I am putting in my mouth! I don't miss anything yet, but there may come a time when I miss my McDonalds, Chick-Fil-A and Indian food. We'll see.

On another note, if you have a couple of hours to spare, watch Food, Inc. It wasn't as sad as I expected although there are some scenes that are very hard to watch. I was definitely enlightening though!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I Took the Pledge

I knew I wanted to write this post, but I wasn't exactly sure what to say or even where to start. So, I google vegetarianism, and of course, the first thing that popped up was PETA's website.

And within 35 seconds of being on the site, a ticker said that 66,000 animals had been killed since I logged on. I read a few animal facts, and was immediately in tears.

I'm not saying that this is a lifetime decision; I'm giving it 30 days and will then re-evaluate based on how my body feels.

I'm not saying that this is a decision for everyone; humans seem to be carnivores by nature.

But, I am saying that since I have become increasingly disgusted with myself everytime I have eaten an animal within the last few monghts, I am taking a pledge to not eat meat for 30 days.

For me, personally, this is about a love of animals, and the thought that I do not want one animal slaughtered for my enjoyment.

The husband is still very much a meat-eater and will continue to be since he is one of those people who thinks he will die without some sort of meat with every meal.

Anyway, I started this process yesterday, Valentines Day, and watched as the husband devoured a steak with his dinner. I didn't miss it one bit!

So, in honor of this journey and to help kick it off, we our watching this movie tonight.

I just hope I don't cry through the whole thing!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

This Weekend and Other Randomness

This weekend, I'm headed to New Orleans with the girls to run really fast in my first 1/2 marathon since 2006! Yep, I'm doing the Rock and Roll New Orleans, and I was kidding about the running fast part because I actually jog vvvvveeeeeerrrrrryyyyy ssssssllllllllooooooowwwwwlllllyyyyy. My goal is to finish in under 2:30, so I'll let you know how I do.

Since the run is not until Sunday and I will have some other time to kill, this is what I plan on doing...
-spending ridiculous amounts of time and money on all of the amazing running clothes and accessories that the expo has to offer. Bondi Band, here I come!
-spending ridiculous amounts of time and money on whatever else New Orleans has to offer me. I feel a need to shop. I don't know what for, but I do know it won't be for beads....maybe some voodoo dolls???
-possibly taste-testing a hurricane or two?!?!
-eating, eating, and more eating!

And speaking of eating, guess what I just had for breakfast!

One piece of pizza crust and a couple of spoonfuls of ice cream.

Can we say breakfast of champions? Yes, I have geared my diet toward sustaining me for a long-distance run! Ha

And in the other randomness, here is something you must's heaven in a cardboard container.

Wish me luck this weekend! Please.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Let's Talk About....

My legs. For just a minute.

They aren't pretty. At least I don't think they are.

I nicknamed them the "half-moons" in college, and since then they have become chubby, little fat-girl legs.

With cellulite.

But, I'm ok with that.

A girl I work with recently told me that she's glad I have "cankles" like hers. Ummm, gee thanks?!?!

But, they take me places.

I have run 100s of miles on them and walked 1000s more.

They get me through 12-hour shifts at the hospital.

And, they are going to carry me across the finish line of a half marathon in just a week and a half.

Sometimes I dress them up in a pair of fabulous Louboutins,

and pretend that the shoes will transform me into a supermodel...with supermodel legs.

And then I remember back to a time in my 20s when my legs looked pretty dang great,

but I was starving.

And for now, I would prefer to enjoy my French Silk ice cream and smorgasbord of candy,

and let my legs continue to be what they are....a metaphor for my life in general.

Not perfect.

But healthy and happy.

P.S. Ignore the stupid look on my face. I couldn't believe my husband was taking pictures and video of me as I crossed the finish line of a recent race.

P.P.S. The shorts I'm wearing are THE BEST running shorts ever, and I just bought my 3rd pair today! You can find them through the Roadrunner link on the right side of the page. They are the women's 6" compression shorts.