Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Dear Diary, I'm Fat. Sparkle*






My top 10 reasons for joining Weight Watchers (yet again):

1. Because if I were to ever get pregnant, it is almost definite that I would have reached 200 lbs. if I started at my fighting weight. That is unacceptable.

2. Because all of my fat jeans are starting to get holes in the crotch, so I need to go back to my skinny jeans. It's that or scrub pants, which are just weird if you aren't a working health professional.

3. So my husband can recognize the sexy b**** he married.

4. So his friends will be jealous.

5. So I can wear a bikini at the lake this summer and not have to sit there in the sweltering Oklahoma heat with all of my clothes on.

6. So my half-moons errr legs will look hot in my Louboutins.

7. To learn how to eat something other than fast-food and donuts.

8. So I don't get hemorrhoids. Because that can happen when you are overweight.

9. So I can get another tattoo. I've got a couple in mind.

10. Because I needed a use for my darling journal (see picture above) that one of my favorite soon-to-be-sister-in-laws-if-my-brother-ever-gets-off-his-ass-and-proposes gave to me for my birthday. I keep track of every morsel that goes in thank you very much.

The End

Love, Mizzle

2 comments:

annie said...

#4 is my favorite!

laura @ hollywood housewife said...

cracking up!! this is a hilarious post, and post-baby I am right there with you, especially on learning to eat something OTHER than fast food.