Some People Just Don't Get It

...But apparently, most people haven't gotten the memo.

I am amazed every day at how my patients behave. I am a nurse at a local hospital, but you would think it's the Ritz Carlton.

Here's a glimpse into my week so far, and it's only Tuesday...

My day always starts with "get me coffee," "get me juice," "where's my breakfast?", "where's my doctor?"

But, for some reason, my job has been extra brutal lately, and I need to vent. It's 12 hours of this. Every. Day.

Patient 1 yells at me because she can't breathe. I know you can't breathe. That's why you are here. And, I'm sorry you can't breathe, but I'm pretty sure that I didn't force you to smoke those 2 packs of cigarettes every day FOR SIXTY YEARS!

Patient 2 yells at me because the woman across the hall is confused and yelling. Dude, I know it's annoying, but I do not have time to write up a new hospital-wide policy for screamers, even though YOU think I should.

Patient 3 yells at me because the pharmacy discarded her used nasal medication AFTER SHE WENT HOME. Hmmmm, would she rather we re-use it on someone else? Mail it to her? Keep it in storage just in case she decided someday to come back for it? Lady, it wasn't yours to take home anyway- it doesn't work that way.

Patient 4 yells at me because I am asking too often to assist her to the restroom. Patient 4's family yells at me because "mom" is "going" in a diaper instead and they want her to go to the bathroom IN THE BATHROOM. Here's an idea- maybe the family could work this out with mom and not blame me?!??!

A doctor yells at me b/c a patient won't leave the hospital after being discharged. Doctor tells me to kick him out. So now I'm the hospital bouncer?

I think you get the picture.

But, next time you're in the hospital, please be kind to your nurses- it's true- we are there to save your ass....not kiss it.